A Little Refresh: My Life, My Blog, My Perspective.

 I took this photo the first morning I came back from drop-off and realized I had the entire house to MYSELF. And had to make a really grown up decision- do I watch the last episode of “Jack Ryan” on Amazon Prime, or clean up from the girls’ breakfast…

I took this photo the first morning I came back from drop-off and realized I had the entire house to MYSELF. And had to make a really grown up decision- do I watch the last episode of “Jack Ryan” on Amazon Prime, or clean up from the girls’ breakfast…

I couldn’t help but laugh when I sat down to write today, opened up the back-end dashboard of my site, and saw a post that I had started on September 7 called “Out Of The Weeds”, about realizing what my friends who told me I was still “in the weeds” meant- and just how wide open my days felt with both girls in school every day for the first time. How I could finally really breathe, and focus, and maybe even clean out our third floor attic.

I was about 5 sentences in when something interrupted my writing flow, and today was the first time I had a chance to go back in to take a look at where I had left off.

At the outset, let me say this- a little refresh is a damn good thing. You may notice that the blog got one (more to come on that, I am still putting the finishing touches on a few of the new updates- stay tuned!), and, at the exact same time, inadvertently, my life got one.

See, we have had someone living in our home with us since the day we moved out to Westport 6 years ago. For the first 4 1/2 years, we were fortunate enough to have the most incredible nannies who, over time, have become part of our family. Then, in Summer 2017, we decided that, with the girls in camp and school, we could downsize on childcare a bit, and made the switch to an Au Pair. It was an adjustment, but one we were all ready to take on, and for a little over a year, we made it work, and sometimes, it worked swimmingly. Other times, it didn’t feel right. And while I tried really hard to stick it out, the truth is, our relationship with our au pair was in rapid decline, and, right around the time I was writing that “Out Of The Weeds” post, we mutually decided that it was time for us both to move on.

A few days later, we moved her out of our home. For the past 16 days, for the first time ever, not one person has been living in our house except for our family. And it has been in many ways, blissful. And in other ways, stressful. I was on deadline with a couple big writing projects, and suddenly faced with the reality that it all had to be done between 9am and 12:15pm unless I made alternative plans for Goldie after preschool. Segment prep for my next Today Show spot would begin around 9:30pm once kids were in bed- but let’s be real here- by that time of the night, my brain was FRIED.

Luckily we have a couple sitters and many generous friends who hosted a consistent stream of playdates for Goldie. I have learned to be more efficient with my time, and when necessary, let things to that previously would have killed me to leave unfinished, unfinished. I’ve spent more time in the laundry room than I can ever remember- and discovered the sense of accomplishment that comes with washing, drying and neatly folding my daughters’ clothes on an almost daily basis.

There is a sense of calm that comes along with knowing this is a temporary transition as we figure out our next step. We like having someone living us- especially for those times when I have to leave for the city at 5am and Brian is traveling for work. It is nice to have another person in the house when he travels- and when the au pair thing is good, it can be incredible. I learned a lot from our first experience, and feel optimistic about trying it again should we find the person that feels right for us.

At the same time- and this, I think, is the best thing to come out of my latest refresh (besides the new blog layout and the font in my logo that I am just drooling over)- I have over 2 weeks of cold, hard proof that I can do this thing. I can get the kids to school with healthy snacks in tow, juggle between after school activities and get each one to where they need to go on time, prep dinner and do baths and convince Alexa to do her homework while sticking Goldie in front of “Doc McStuffins”. Drop off dry cleaning, do laundry, get groceries (sure, there may not be cohesive ingredients to make a meal but…), pay bills, learn how to update my new website template, test beauty products for my segment and even squeeze in a workout a few times a week.

The day-to-day crazy that I hid from and told myself was just too much for me for the past 6 years is crazy, for sure. But also oddly fun, predictably exhausting, and very rewarding.

Okay- on that note- off to pick Goldie up from her playdate and get her to her tennis lesson (yes, she is 3 and takes tennis- I am determined to have at least one daughter, if not two, who will eventually become my willing doubles partner, haha)- more to come on all this stuff- the blog, the family, the transition, my mental state and of course, I have a backlog of beauty and fashion finds that I am chomping at the bit to share… XO.