Many months ago, my best friend Miryha from high school- who happens to also be my current neighbor and yes, still my closest friend- and I were lamenting how we have no photos of ourselves, or our families, together. Which somehow led to us deciding we should book a family-double-date-weekend-getaway (since clearly this would provide lots of photo ops, amongst other things). The date was chosen, and a commitment was made- no matter what, even though we both knew in the back of our heads we would probably want nothing more than a lazy weekend at home when the actual weekend came around, we were going somewhere. That somewhere ended up being Lake George for a one night stay at the Sagamore Hotel. And here is why it mattered...
(I mean- it mattered for many reasons- watching our kids play together and seeing the amazing relationships we had, spending time just the 8 of us away from all the hustle-bustle of Westport life, yada yada yada...but...)
On the way home, she texted me (we followed eachother up and back in our respective cars) that her daughter had to poop. I was like- "Ok, let's get off at the next exit." To which she replied "We will pull over on the grass...She isn't gonna hold it." I thought she had to be joking. But she wasn't. Seconds later, they pulled over on the highway in a safe spot, and, as Brian and I watched in total disbelief, Miryha scooped her daughter out of the car, jogged about 20 paces, squatted down in the grass and, while balanced precariously over Mir's leg, her daughter pooped. Once the business was complete, they stood up, and calmly walked back into their car, and we were back on the road.
At which point Brian says matter-of-factly: "Wow. You and Miryha are VERY different mothers." In that situation, I would have for sure had a complete meltdown and probably let Goldie poop in her car seat, then thrown the carseat out the window while still driving, and held a poop covered kid in my lap while simultaneously gagging and crying and screaming, until the next rest stop- at which point I would have handed her to Brian.
My next text to Miryha was "I am equal parts impressed and horrified."
But to be honest, mostly impressed. When you have been close to someone for 20+ years, it is easy to take the amazing person that she has grown into for granted. It is like when you lose weight- how you are the last one to notice because you see yourself every single day. Someone who only sees you every now and then will immediately recognize your transformation- but you need that ah-a moment when you accidentally order in a pair of jeans off Shopbop that you expected to be 3 sizes too small and they fit perfectly to be like- DAMN, girl....
So- lesson of the story is this: Just because you may see someone all the time, it doesn't mean you actually SEE them. So make a plan to do something special together- something that involves the things that are most important in your lives at that moment (i.e. your families). Something that perhaps takes a little extra effort to execute. It will be worth it. Seriously. I mean- at the very least, I now have a mental image of my best friend's kid pooping over her knee on the side of the Taconic Parkway, which is a moment I could have never imagined back in 1994 when we would spend late nights painting decorations for our boyfriend's lockers before high school football games. Yup. We did that. Sufficed to say, we have come a long way.