Honest Musings On Anti-Racism From A White Girl / Suburban Mom (That's Me, Guys. Duh.)
The heaviness and importance of this moment in history, and the tremendous opportunit to shift the narrative for the future by educating ourselves and our kids, is amplified by the questions my 9 year old daughter innocently asks daily. This picture of us, happily sprawled out on the lawn, tucked in our suburban bubble, careless smiles on our faces, was initially snapped to anchor a post on tips to get your kids outside and moving on lazy days. But since I first started that draft 2 weeks ago, priorities on all fronts have shifted. Photo Credit: @JuliaDags
I am going to open this by setting the bar so low for myself that the only place to go is (hopefully?!) up. Until a couple days ago, I didn’t know there was such a thing as Anti-Racist. I thought you were either racist or not racist. And since I know I am not racist, I felt like I was good. Set. Part of the solution, not the problem. Raising conscious children who would grow up and treat everyone equal, regardless of skin color. YAY ME! Mom of the year, right? I can see your smirk from here, and I am smirking right along with you.
NOPE.
It took a few days, and lots of informative Instagram scrolling well into the wee hours (thank you to @geethanksjustboughtitpod, @hithapalepu #5smartreads, @tiffanymjewell and @laylafsaad to name a few) for me to understand the gravity of the race situation in our country, to comprehend why NOW is the moment that action is being taken, and begin to formulate a plan for myself and my family to be educated participants in change. And beyond that….
To feel worthy of chiming in on a topic that I will NEVER be able to understand fully… To get over the fear of using the wrong words (I mean, I am of the generation that was taught to NEVER call someone “black” or “brown”- African-American was the only acceptable option, and it is so hard for me now still to say “black owned business” etc.)…
To explain to Alexa that while we spent 9 years diligently teaching her to be colorblind, we were WRONG…
To tell Goldie that it is okay to call the black boy game piece in her beloved “Chutes & Ladders” the “black one”- she doesn’t have to say “the boy with the striped shirt” so as to avoid making anyone else around the board feel a second of discomfort.
The curriculum has to change, in order for the narrative to change.
Having a 9 year old daughter at this time has magnified my own ignorance in the best way possible, because her questions motivate me to find answers. And the answers I find in turn inspire me to get educated on what it means to have white privilege and the responsibility that my husband and I have to use the resources at our disposal (high speed Wifi, a plethora of devices, YouTube on our SmartTVs, working credit cards with which to order books and toys that bring diversity into our home, a network of highly educated friends to debate with and learn from, to name a few) to raise children that are NOT COLORBLIND. We have to raise children who are aware of the advantages inherent in the color of their skin- that, through a long chain of events stretching 41 years- landed them in an affluent Connecticut suburb, surrounded by kids who almost exclusively look just like them, in a public school system where the police make classroom visits, doling out stickers and smiles, reassuring students that their job as enforcers of the law is to protect us all.
I very much respect the idea of using this time- and my platform- to amplify black voices, as opposed to adding my white girl, nasal, often too loud (especially on the phone!) voice to the noise. And I know I have already rambled enough- so gonna leave it here.
Over time, I will update this post with resources that have proved helpful for me to educate myself and my kids. The Instagram accounts I mentioned earlier are definite influences, and I am awaiting the arrival of Tiffany Jewell’s “This Book Is Anti-Racist” which I stalked online and ordered yesterday. Additionally, the June 2 episode of “NBC Nightly News Kids Edition” with Lester Holt is a great, informative watch.
On the subject of supporting black-owned businesses, this list from NY Magazine “The Strategist” and this one from Marie Claire are very thorough.
“Education Week” has this list of 15 resources to help with talking to kids about racism, policing and protesting- it is very comprehensive for a range of ages.
PLEASE share any resources you recommend in the comments- I would be so appreciative! Books, websites, podcasts- especially content that speaks directly to children, I have had a hard time finding those so far!
Sending lots of love… XOXO JF