The Highs and Lows of Quarantine With My Family, 2 Months Down…
Mood at 6am on a Tuesday. My friend Jen Goldberg has an incredible boudoir photography biz, she shot this as part of her “Sunrise Series”, photographing women from 6 feet away in those quiet hours before the craziness of each day begins. Jen is also donating to an amazing cause support female entrepreneurs- details HERE.
Today marks 8 weeks since our town “shut down” to keep residents safe in the face of the Coronavirus pandemic. And oh my, what an incredible experience these weeks have been… I feel like I say this anytime the subject of life in quarantine comes up, but it is so true- each day, within the span of even just an hour, I experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Anyone else?
Recording this time for myself and my kids is constantly on my mind- it is (we hope!) a once in a lifetime occurrence- and one that will forever change everything. Of that, I am sure. In some ways, it brings me back to the days right after 9/11 - that quiet feeling of the world pausing, so much uncertainty, fear and sadness but also so much heart, community and generosity. Some details from that time are still clear as crystal to me- and I don’t want to forget them because they are important- looking out my window that first night where the towers were and seeing darkness, walking the streets and seeing all the “Missing Person” photo collages in windows around every corner, stuffing the ash-dusted clothes I wore as I ran up to my apartment on 22nd street from my office in the World Financial Center in the back of my closet before throwing them down the garbage shoot in fear of the chemicals that may reside in the fibers, and so on. I wish I captured more to one day be able to share with my girls, but this was before smart phones with cameras were a thing, and recording every second of our lives was not as easy to do as it is now. So- in a twist on that adage “with great power comes great responsibility”, I sort of feel like the ability to keep a journal via photos and videos snapped on our phones brings with it the responsibility (and a certain amount of self-imposed pressure) to do so. It is a work in progress, and these little posts, whenever I find the quiet moments to write them, feel important for me.
Organizing my thoughts by “categories”- so feel free to scroll and read whatever headline looks interesting to you!
How Our Home School Is Working:
The first couple of weeks, I was super mom when it came to home school. We had themes daily, minute by minute schedules, projects galore. Then, a couple things happened. Alexa’s school changed the distance learning plan (several times, actually- but that is a rant best saved for a venting session to myself in the mirror at some point privately ha!) and as such, her 3rd grade daily deliverables no longer could be made up on a whim by me and strategically created to also offer an option to include 5 year old Goldie. Also, while my work gigs are coming in at a slower pace, the writing and content creation opportunities did re-start and as such, I needed time in my day to sit at my desk and focus. Our wonderful nanny Alex had been self quarantining at home since March 12, so after 2 weeks time, we collectively decided it was safe for all of us (and most notably, for my mental sanity!) to have her come for a few hours a day to offer childcare coverage and keep the house from crumbling. Usually Alex comes in the afternoons- so I plan things to do with the girls until noon each day- art projects, podcasts, dance routines. My intentions have changed- and no clue if it is a good thing, a bad thing or a “6 of one half a dozen of the other” thing- but now, my “home school” operates to encourage the girls to step away from the screens and DO THINGS together with ME. Some days it works, other days I slam the door so hard in frustration I fear a picture has fallen off the wall. Alexa tends to race through her school work and is done by like 9:30am (I no longer hover over her shoulder to check her work and make sure she checks all the boxes on her daily list of to do’s- both because I don’t have the energy in me to fight her to finish things anymore and I figure the best way to teach her to self-start is to let her do it herself and learn how it feels to get an email from her teacher when she doesn’t) so we have a nice chunk of time to ride bikes, work on our “up-cycled Barbie Dreamhouse-inspired village”, paint kindness rocks, make up stories, play in the basement, cheat at “Chutes and Ladders”, etc.
How We Manage Screen Time:
This is the issue of quarantine in our house (and mainly in my own mind but I imagine others can relate?) How much is too much? What apps are appropriate? How do we monitor it all? I wish I had any real answers. It is so hard. We decided to try 2 hours a day on weekdays and 3 hours a day on weekends- the girls know they have to budget their time accordingly. Alexa could legit stay on Tik Tok and HouseParty from the moment she wakes up until her eyes eventually shut themselves 2 days later. And Goldie is obsessed with YouTube videos of kids playing with creepy baby dolls and some “Fashion Famous” game on Roblox. I mean, I GET IT. There is something so relaxing in the moment, but maybe because I know the anxiety it can produce all too well from my own life/work dependence on social media, I am constantly thinking about the strung out, glassy eyed potential moments that will follow a screen binge session. So it gets heated, and our parenting strategies/struggles evolve by the day on this topic.
Favorite Family Activities:
The last thing we did before locking down at home was get bikes for the girls- and it was the best thing we did as far as preparing for a pandemic so far. The girls ride almost every day in a nearby empty parking lot, and Alexa has even gotten really into riding on the streets around town- something I am usually too nervous to do but with so few cars out right now, it isn’t as stressful. We still do our Falik Family Talent Shows on the weekends, and play board games together (the loose cannon is Goldie who tends to cheat and destroy any sense of order and decorum when it comes to games- but “Sorry” works well for us, as do Checkers, “Yeti in my Spaghetti” and a few more (all are listed HERE should you want to check out ideas!). Oh- and we even made a couple Tik Toks together- which I gotta admit was quite fun!
Favorite Shows to Watch With Our Kids:
It is kind of cool to think that for 8 weekends straight, Brian and I have been home both Friday and Saturday night with our girls and able to enjoy staying up late watching things that we all can enjoy together. Usually, we go out a lot. We have an amazingly fun social life here for a couple of old geezers- and while I am grateful for it, secretly I sorta always want to stay home if given the choice. Goldie is finally old enough to pay attention to things beyond Nick Jr and Disney- and all the training time I put in forcing them to watch Wheel of Fortune over the years is paying off because they LOVE game shows! Our favorite shows to watch as a family include The Masked Singer, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, Mental Samurai and The Wall (though on that one, it feels a bit over-dramatized and I find myself cringing out loud to the point that Alexa has to tell me to shut up every 5 minutes!). After the kids go to bed, Brian and I instantly turn on Naked & Afraid which we just started to watch and HOLY SH&T I am addicted! We are also trying to get the girls introduced to the “classics”- so far they loved The Goonies and Hook. Any suggestions? Please share- I need help in this category!
Best Moments Of Quarantine With Kids:
Seeing the girls excitedly share the “up-cycled village” we are creating out of shipping boxes and toilet paper rolls with my mom via Facetime…collecting rocks with Goldie then painting them and gluing googly eyes to create “happiness rocks”… early morning beach walks with Alexa followed by an obligatory Tik Tok… Cheering on contestants on every single game show like we know them personally… The Disney Family Singalong show… Setting up YouTube on the tv to watch our local high school production of Seussical The Musical and listening to Alexa call out all the actors she remembers from when we saw Mamma Mia there last season… Figuring out how to make Rainbow Loom necklaces on the floor of Alexa’s bedroom with her… Working every day for a week with Alexa to learn a dance routine with the DanceBody Live kids program video series and then performing it in matching outfits for Brian and Goldie… Listening in while Alexa and Goldie make videos together… Watching Alexa teach Goldie how to write/read/do math equations with such dedication and love…That rainy Monday morning when we decided to delay school start time and instead crawled in my bed and watched Matilda… The sweet drive-by birthday “party” for one of Alexa’s oldest friends- so much warmth and love, evidence of how special things can be in totally unexpected circumstances…
Worst Moments of Quarantine With Kids:
Any one that involves suggesting someone put away an iPad… My responses to repeated requests for more dessert/snacks/candy/screen time… Hmmm… Thinking I will leave this one be for now, most likely my girls will remember the moments clearly for the rest of their lives after having to share them over and over in the therapy sessions that will be necessary to undo the damage I surely caused between March 2020 and…??? :)
I would love to hear from you- what have been your best moments and most challenging moments as you reflect on the past 2 months of this pandemic lifestyle? Please share in the comments! Stay safe, healthy and sane- WE GOT THIS :) I hope… No, I know… Stay positive! XX JF