Instead Of A Resolution for 2020, Do THIS.
Last week, my phone dinged with a group text alert from my friend Jen Goldberg. that totally rocked my world. Inspired by Melinda Gates, who apparently gifts herself a word for the year instead of traditional resolutions , Jen posed the question to us: “What word would you gift yourselves for 2020?” To get the creative juices flowing, she let us know some of the words Melinda gifted herself in the past, which include: Shine, Grace, Spacious, Gentle.
It sparked the most incredible conversations with some of my closest girlfriends. These are girls I have talked to daily for years, yet from their answers to this one simple question, I feel like I learned so much about each of one them- and as such, I HIGHLY recommend you be the Jen Goldberg of your “group-text-go-to-girl-group” and send the same message around today.
My word? PRIORITIZE. Initially, it was CALM but then I realized that focusing on prioritizing would like beget a sense of calm. So, going with PRIORITIZE. I love having my hands in a million things- being a mom and a wife, growing my blog, launching a new newsletter in 2020 and what that would look l like, building my TV work/Better Basics series, maintaining our home like a grown up, learning to cook- heck- spending 100,000 hours creating family photo albums! But having all these tabs open in my brain- plus smaller task-related things like hosting events to support local businesses, bringing the cookies for the school holiday party- is not doing my mental health any favors. Gifting myself the word PRIORITIZE will hopefully open me up to saying NO- both to others and myself- so I can make calm, intentional, loving choices in 2020.
Jen, who is an incredibly talented photographer (check out her site - she does the most incredible, sophisticated boudoir photography- I wrote about my own experience with it HERE) is going with GROW. I love thinking of this in the context of career, motherhood, and all kinds of relationships. Being open to the opportunity to GROW is so interesting too- for example, Jen has long resisted the distractions of the social media world- and for that, I truly have envied her. But upon realizing the power it could have to GROW her business, she dove head on into the world of Instagram (follow her Private Portraits account here!) and for me, watching that leap has been so inspiring… Sometimes we have to GROW up and be open to things that we never anticipated letting into our lives in ordert to let our lives- personal and professional- GROW. That is how I interpret the word…
My friend Anne- who is perhaps the strongest person I know- both physically and mentally, went with CONQUER. Anne has a long career in fashion- both on the corporate level and as an entrepreneur (you can see her Beau Soleil designs HERE - best t-shirts!)- and can pretty much kick anyone’s butt in the gym or on the basketball court. But the idea of CONQUER to me suggests a super proactive, no f*cks given approach to everything in 2020- and I LIKE IT! Anne’s other option was FLOW- and similar to my sequencing with PRIORITIZE leading (hopefully!) to CALM, she sees CONQUER begetting a sense of being in FLOW.
Heather, a celeb nutritionist and entrepreneur (you guys have heard me talk about her Food Fix online weight loss program before, I know- it is amazing) threw two words into the ring- ENGAGE and CHARGE. And, funny enough, she was the first to reply to the chain- which is worth mentioning because it is not her norm, and showed the power of proclaiming a word (ENGAGE) in propelling new habits! As a mom of 3- and nutritionist to many- Heather gives so much of herself to so many people every day- and in the literal sense, coaching people through diet choices drains her phone battery, driving her kids all over the place drains her gas tank- she wants to make sure to CHARGE herself, her phone, her car. etc.
Finally, our friend Hannah went with MOTHER. I almost fell out of my chair in confusion when I read it. I consider her to be the most amazing mom ever- and since the day I met her I have aimed to model my own parenting style based on how I observe her with her own kids. But like I said- posing this question will teach you so much about the people close to you that you never would have known otherwise! For Hannah, the reality that her kids are quickly approaching adulthood (time freaking FLIES!), the idea of MOTHER means soaking up every second. And it is not just for the sake of spending time together- sure, that is part of it- but it is more. MOTHER to prepare them for the next phases of their lives, infuse them with the skills and mindset to CONQUER whatever comes at them, and cement an enduring MOTHER/child relationship that transcends living under the same roof.
I hope you will share your word in the comments- and PLEASE take my advice and start this discussion thread with your friends. Because let’s be honest- we are 9 days into 2020 and I am fairly sure most of those regimented resolutions everyone made on January 1 have been broken. Give the gift of a do-over! xx JF